Let me say from the start I am NOT in favor of abortion (in most cases; there is always an exception).
And yet I feel like I am entirely pro-choice.
What I mean is that I am completely for making a choice; but I am also completely for responsibly facing the outcome of that choice.
So I guess I am pro a different kind of choice.
I am pro-if you-don't-want-to-get-pregnant-then-don't-have-sex choice. I am pro-keep-your-actions-and-feelings-under-control-so-you-don't-bring-yourself-and-others-heartache-and-pain-and-fear choice. I am pro-think-ahead-and look-beyond-momentary-pleasure-so-you-aren't-left-facing-the-idea-of-destroying-a-life-in-order-to-keep-your-lifestyle-from-being-rumpled (or completely overturned) choice.
Killing a person because you chose not to act responsibly or because although you were the cause of its creation it is now an inconvenience for you is not acceptable behavior in my book. It is wrong. If you adopt a dog and then decide you don't like having it around you don't get to cut it into pieces and throw it away; why is it different with a human being?
Now, I am liberal enough to be one of those people who thinks kids should be exposed to the idea of sex early on and frequently as they grow up. I believe it helps them develop an understanding of their urges and desires, de-mystifies the whole notion of sex. It helps them learn why and how those drives work. Good. Sounds like something they should know.
However, I also believe that our children need to be taught that sex is not a play thing and it shouldn't be treated like one. There is a power there that needs to be handled responsibly and our children need to know that. For me, that means encouraging my children to save that intense and beautiful act for when they are married. When they are committed to another person who loves them and is a partner to them that is when they should unleash that power and use it to benefit themselves and their family.
But whether you believe that piece or not, the creation of life is not a little footnote to something more important. Wanting sex with no strings attached is no excuse for stealing lives.
I want to teach my children to make mature decisions, to make wise choices, and then to boldly face the consequences of those choices. That is not always simple or comfortable.
Telling someone that "you can just get rid of it" when the "it" is a person is completely unacceptable. Quick fixes and easy outs rarely develop character and I am convinced from everything I have seen that becoming involved in crushing the most innocent of lives does not benefit those making the choice in any way other than momentary convenience.
I am full blown, all out pro-making-a-choice. But I am also full blown, all out live-with-the-outcome-of-your-choice.
Not ready to be a parent? OK, great. Responsibly choose to let the life YOU created be nurtured by someone who is.
Not ready to get pregnant? OK, great. Then keep those powers under control and don't create a life that you aren't ready or willing to give.
Sounds like you're pro-choice-plus-consequences. I had a friend on the mission who told me one time that he thought when Satan wanted to destroy our agency, his plan wasn't to force us to do things but instead to remove the consequences of whatever actions we took. Interesting thought, no idea if it's true, but it made me think.
ReplyDeleteHaving consequences is a really important part of the learning process. I'm definitely not perfect at the balance of protecting my kids vs. hiding them from responsibility, but it's an important lesson that our society seems less and less interested in helping teach.