Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Not all victories come easily

This week my oldest son graduates from high school (sheesh I feel old just typing those words).

To be honest, high school was pretty easy for me (my kids say that's because the world was easier in general way back then -- and then I tell them about using Encyclopedias to write reports and phone book maps to find addresses -- but they don't get it) .

Back to the point, yes, I had to study and put in some effort and that sort of thing, but I kind of breezed through the whole school endeavor without hitting too many speed bumps.

I know that is not the experience everyone has.  It is not the experience my son had.  For him, high school was a much more difficult ordeal.

Now, I'm not going to go into all the gory details here on the worldwide web, but while my son is incredibly intelligent, very capable, and really quite talented the battlefield of education has been a difficult undertaking for him.  There have been many hidden stumbling blocks, many late night discussions, many attempted solutions, many disappointments, many frustrating moments, many tears shed on both sides -- and many opportunities for learning and growth.

The choices we've made have shaped us all and helped us grow as individuals and in the relationships we've built together.

And sometimes the moments were beautiful.  There were triumphs and successes scattered along the way.  There were times where our hearts fluttered with pride and happiness and that really helped us keep perspective.

Other times the experiences were less than smooth.  Occasionally they were jagged and ugly.

It hasn't been a pretty process (think making sausages).  But as I look back now there is a raw beauty not really in the singular moments themselves -- some of them have been very painful -- but in the broad image those moments have produced when they are displayed together.  The slashing, tearing, heart-rending strokes have been tempered by patience, love, serenity, acceptance, and faith which held the work together until it was complete.

It isn't perfect, but it really is powerful.

And we are stronger now than we were when we started.  We have learned much as we have chosen to grow together rather than apart -- which has been far from easy.

We all learned to love each other through (and sometimes in spite of) the choices being made.  We've learned to appreciate the beautiful heartache of agency as well as the quiet elation of resolve and focused effort.  Over and over we've learned about forgiveness -- all of us have.

Maybe more than anything else, we've learned about hope.  I can tell you for certain that hope is much more than a fleeting wish that something will happen.  It is a formidable asset which can tether you together no matter what is happening if you give it a place to live and don't scratch it out.

This battle has been hard fought -- and not all hard fought battles end in wins.  So I'm going to take my time and glory in this one for a while.  For our family, this triumph has not come easily.  And that makes the victory a little bit more precious to those of us who have been on the front lines.

Congratulations Bryce, I am very very proud of you and the person you are choosing to become.



No comments:

Post a Comment