**WARNING** Politically charged football related religious post ahead

I have been reading a book called “I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening)” – and I highly recommend it (in case you’re looking for some solid non-partisan reading material). 

One chapter in the book talks about the need to be willing to take off your political jersey.  It urges readers to step back from the sound bites and the platitudes on the party platform and be willing to look at things from a broader perspective and come together on common ground.  It reminds us that we are humans before we are constituents (or voters) and that puts us all on the same team in the larger scheme of life on this planet.

Anyway, it got me thinking about the “teams” that I align myself with.

Being tightly tied to a political party has never really been important to me (or I don’t feel like it has).  I don’t feel tethered to one party over another, I tend to vote for what or who I feel is right over following any kind of party line.  While I have ALWAYS voted and worked to be an informed voter, it is this lack of love for any one camp that kept me from declaring allegiance to a party or participating in caucus meetings for a long time (I wasn’t especially welcome having not joined the group). 

Don’t get me wrong, I have strong political opinions – I always have.  I just don’t happen to align well with the D’s or the R’s (or any other letters you might want to throw out for me). 

But even without a partisan connection, I still felt this idea of stepping back from your jersey was important and I wanted to apply it to other groups I align with and evaluate my behavior within them as well.

Being a sports analogy, my initial thought about “teams” was my dedication to my preferred college team.  I was born and raised a BYU fan.  In our home, love of BYU was almost a religious loyalty.  My dad wouldn’t even wear red, the color of the U of U -- the opposing university.  While he didn’t go so far as trying to ban the use of their name, he was devout, to put it mildly, and that rubbed off on his children.

Then I got married.  My husband is also a devoted BYU fan, but he comes at things from a completely different angle.  While I was taught to hope for the U to lose to every opponent they faced, Josh cheered for the U as long as they weren’t playing the Y.  He believes it makes sense to hope for the success of every team in our state because those wins benefit the state as a whole and give clout and increased attention to every other program. 

I saw the power in that and I decided that was how I wanted to do things moving forward and that is the attitude we have tried to teach to our children.

Coming back to the topic of teams, I did some more thinking about this book and realized probably my biggest “team” is my affiliation with my church.  I believe strongly in the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ and feel a close connection to God and His love for me.  It is a “team” that I am always grateful to be part of, a team that has really shaped me as a person. 

But there are plenty of people not on my religious team.  In fact, whether you classify it by my faith in God or by my specific sect (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), TONS of people aren’t on my chosen team and for a lot of people, this is a painful rivalry that runs incredibly deep. 

I thought about taking what I’d learned from Josh’s view of college football and tucking that around these “teams” divided by religion.  Instead of taking on the contentious sports attitude I was raised with where I hope for your downfall because we don't agree on this one thing, I want to adopt my husbands view when it comes to my participation in this “team” too. 

Yes, the people who do not believe the same way I do have chosen another squad, but in most ways, their actions, decisions, and successes still greatly benefit the community and world around us.  We agree on so many points.  We want good schools.  We want strong families.  We want freedom.  We want to end human trafficking.  We want reduced crime and safe neighborhoods and good restaurants nearby and roads without potholes and clean air and so much more. 

We have tons in common.  We can cheer for each other, build each other up, and work together almost all the time.

Now, there will be moments when it comes down to a head to head (that BYU vs Utah game is definitely highly charged).  There will be times when my views and theirs are in conflict.  When that happens I am going to stand up for my team and I expect others will do the same.  I’ll put on my jersey and cheer and chant and do all I can try to advance the ideals I believe are right and so will they.  We’ll express our views and advance our causes and if we do it right we’ll remember that we are opponents on opposite sides of an issue, not enemies out to hurt each other.

In football, a rivalry game is usually one game out of 12 in the season.  That means 11 out of 12 times I can cheer for the U and hope for the best for them.  And I do. 

I want to do the same thing off the football field. 
Be they political or religious or something else, our affiliated teams may differ on some points (maybe gun rights, maybe abortion, maybe gay marriage, maybe welfare, maybe climate change, maybe immigration, maybe other things) but we can choose to cheer for each other when we aren’t in a head to head moment.  We can choose NOT to classify people exclusively by their jersey.  We can choose to see beyond the “nothing comes ahead of this issue” attitude and remember that underneath it all we are humans together.

I love my teams.  I am grateful to be part of them.  They give me assurance, understanding, and peace and I am very grateful for that.  But I refuse to be so entrenched in the ideals of my group that I cannot choose to see the good in someone who is wearing a different jersey. 

As the authors of this book wisely say it, “There is nothing inherently wrong with group affiliation.  But there IS something tremendously wrong with prioritizing our differences over our sameness…”

Let’s take a step back.  Let’s choose the see the broader picture – the one where we all share this world and every person on it matters regardless of what team they are on. 

I never want my jersey to keep me from seeing the value of another soul. 

It’s been something good to ponder this week. 

Holiday Mad Gab Game

My son asked me to come to school to lead an activity in his class for their "freedom Friday" this month.  I do like to spend time in school with my kiddos, but sometimes I have a hard time finding something good to do that will entertain 30ish 5th graders.

Last time I went in we played several short minute-to-win-it type games so I wanted to do something different, but since it is December, I also wanted to do something fun.

I asked Google for some ideas and eventually landed on the idea of a Mad Gab style holiday game.  Sounds like a plan.

So I searched for something I could quickly print that was pre-prepped and ready to go.  But no such luck, I really struggled to find anything free that had more than a few ideas -- not nearly enough to keep the attention of a gaggle of eleven-year-olds for half an hour.

But thankfully, I have a willing team around my house so my husband, my teenagers and I sat down one afternoon and brainstormed Christmas related phrases and composed strange word combinations to try to hint at those ideas.  It did take some work.

But we did it, and now we are the proud (??) owners of a bunch of Christmas Mad Gab phrases which we can use for 5th-grade classrooms, extended family gatherings, friends who come to the house, church activities and who knows what else.  We'll tuck this file away and who knows when it will come in handy.

Now, in case you are looking for a Christmas Mad Gab, feel free to use this one.  It was a good fit for our need and maybe it will help you too.  It's not exactly fancy, but we think it's pretty fun -- and it's free so you can't complain too much.  Add your own ideas to make it just right for your group and hope you have as much fun with it as my son's adorably rowdy classmates did.

Free Christmas Mad Gab Game

A beautiful, and incomplete, family photo

A couple of weeks ago we had the chance to have family pictures taken with my side of the family.  It is always an adventure (read that: struggle) to get everyone ready and headed in the same direction.  In this case, my mom had chosen some coordinating colors for everyone to wear, so I'd rummaged through my kiddos closets to find appropriate outfits.

I'd set the chosen clothes out for everyone to see the night before and warned them we'd be wearing these clothes the next day and no one seemed to care much about them....until it came time to put them on the next morning.  Then -- no kidding -- EVERY SINGLE CHILD let me know that he or she did not want to wear the chosen threads and tried to offer me other options -- many of which were not in the appropriate colors or were styles that didn't match the family.

Eventually, we just packed every grumpy person into the car wearing varying levels of the pre-selected outfits, with one daughter who was so upset at the imposed clothing choice that she wouldn't even allow her hair to be styled so she looked a bit bedraggled (some things we force, and some things we let people choose).  Fine!!!!

In all the hullabaloo, we also forgot to bring the "Don't Mess With Texas" stuffed bull we had chosen to represent Bryce who was not with us for this picture (because he is in Orlando trying to teach people about Jesus). 

This was our first official, incomplete family picture.  I know that as the years go by we will have many more family photos which will be missing a member as schedules conflict, more missions are served, families move, and other concerns come up -- but this was our first.

It has been hard for me to really fall in love with these images because they are missing a person who means so much to me.  However, I sincerely think it is important for me to live in these moments and to see the beauty of this chapter of our life (I'm pretty big about owning our circumstances and honestly feeling our feelings, just ask my kidlets).  It isn't fun to be reminded that a person you love is far away, but that is the truth of it and there is beauty in that truth as well as sadness.

I am proud of Bryce for choosing to serve God.   And that means that right now he isn't here with us for these family moments.  It makes my heart squeeze a little bit, but it also makes me smile as I think of the ways he is growing and learning, the people he is meeting, the testimony he is building -- the things he is experiencing that I could not give to him.  I know this is the right place for him to be.

Anyway, back to our story.  We all tumbled into the car with sour faces but after an hour-long drive, angry feelings had tempered some and we arrived in the canyon for the family photo shoot.  People were mostly cooperative (although, still no approval was given for hair styling).  All in all, it was a good opportunity and I'm grateful for the physical reminders of where our family is that we can look back on with fondness, even if they are one person shy of our complete crew.

Orlando Florida Mission, Here He Comes (guess he has grown a foot or two)

Last night our oldest son, Bryce, was wrestling with his youngest siblings. They were laughing and squealing and it was hilarious.

Watching them made my eyes leak (I am very prone to leaky eyes). Bryce leaves for the MTC on Wednesday. Like tomorrow.

Ellie (age 8) saw my streaky tears and she suddenly burst out sobbing which got her older sister, Aubrey (who had joined the fray) crying because they both felt the weight of the fact that their brother was leaving.

Josh threw up his hands and complained about the amount of estrogen in the room....then hugged us all.

I'm sincerely so so excited for Bryce...soon to be Elder DeMoux...for the experiences he will have, the things he will learn, the people he will meet, and the person his mission will help him to become.

But I am also a selfish beast, and I'm really really gonna miss my little boy.

His bags are packed. His room is pretty much empty (and his younger brother is itching to move in). He can hardly wait to plunge into this new chapter of his life.

We're as ready as we're gonna get. A big piece of my heart is Florida bound.

This necklace was a gift from a super sweet friend whose son is serving in the same mission.  This lady is amazing!!!  I love keeping thoughts of my son close by while wearing this.

Four generations of priesthood holders together at the temple.

Found these awesome gator glasses to use at Bryce's barbecue send off.

Yard flamingos to complete the Florida feel of our party.