...and they all lived happily ever after...

...and they all lived happily ever after...

Friday, February 24, 2017

Accidental Conversation Killer

Aubrey has been working on a history project of late.  She had to make a tri-fold brochure all about a particular country (I wish I had thought to take a picture of it because it looked really great).

She turned the project in yesterday and was thrilled when she found out she earned every possible point for her work (actually, her super fun teacher originally announced to the whole class the Aubs had failed her first ever assignment which left the class temporarily worried because Aubrey put a lot of work into the flyer so if she failed they weren't sure they could pass either -- but, just kidding, she got full marks).

Anyway, the point is, while Josh and I were driving Aubrey and the other kids to musical theater last night, she was telling us all about her project which happened to focus on Ireland.  She mentioned her teacher had been enamored with the "interesting facts" section she'd added to the brochure so Josh asked what interesting facts she'd found and this is what happened.

Aubrey: Did you know that Ireland reports fewer UFO sightings than any other European country.
Josh: Well, that's pretty cool.
Me: Why?
Aubrey: Huh?
Me: Why do they report fewer sightings?
Josh: Aubs, just ignore her.
Aubrey: No, really, what do you mean, Mom.
Me: Well, I mean, do they see fewer UFOs or do they just not report the UFO sightings or do authorities ignore the reports or do they see so many UFOs that it is common place so they don't really pay much attention?  I hear there are is a lot of drinking in Ireland, maybe they are too drunk to report the sightings?
Aubrey: Mom, I don't know that.  It's just an interesting fact, it doesn't have to have a reason.
Me: That seems pretty silly.  Why notice a fact, but don't figure out what it really means?
Aubrey:  Whatever.  Also, people think that Ireland has lots more red-heads than anywhere else, but only 9% of the people in Ireland actually have red hair.
Josh:  Huh, that is an interesting fact.
Me: But what percentage of people other places are red-heads?
Aubrey: What do you mean?
Josh: Aubs, let it go, she does this, that's why I don't tell her jokes.
Me: Well, if most other places only have 2% or 5% red-headed population than Ireland's 9% would still make them seem like a much higher concentration of red-heads.  So if that's the case it makes sense that people think of Ireland as a place with more red-heads than other places.
Aubrey:  Gosh, Mom, the site didn't tell me that.  It's just an interesting fact.  Leave it alone.
Josh:  I think you should just give up now Aubrey.
And she did.  Poor Aubs.

FYI: Although Josh likes to tease me about it, I do not ruin jokes and interesting facts on purpose.  I just get curious about things and wonder what causes them or why they are the way they are.  But I'll admit, it can put a damper on a conversation.  Oops.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Roasting s'mores...and fingers

 On Monday we made s'mores in our backyard.

It was really fun.

Until I grabbed a roasting stick that had (unbeknownst to me) been recently sitting in the fire so I ended up with this.

Fingers.  Cooked.

(To be fair, this picture makes the burn look goopier than it is because there is some Vasaline on it)

I spent the bulk of Monday night with my uber-sore digits in cold water (because nothing else seemed to numb the pain).  The skin did not blister AT ALL which surprised me.  I've been the proud owner of several nasty burns in my life (including one really awful one on the tip of my nose thanks to marauding bacon grease) but I've never had a bad burn that didn't blister.

And this was a bad burn for sure.  I grabbed onto the metal tip of the roasting stick HARD before I learned that it was scalding.

Tuesday, when I woke up, the burn didn't hurt at all.  It didn't hurt because I couldn't feel it.  Not even a little bit.  The burns were a sickly white color (it wasn't puss, the skin was cooked white) and the area felt coarse and leathery.  I was a little concerned because I couldn't feel it, but I figured it would pretty much heal on its own.  

Josh was not so sure.  He tends to worry about these kind of things more than I do.  I am much more of a "watch it and see what happens" type where he is more "let's go in and have it checked."

We both did some reading on the internet (which generally brings on lots of worst case scenarios and often ends with a prognosis of death) and then Josh was convinced the I needed medical attention.  To be fair, Josh was mostly worried about an infection because I am quite prone to them (thanks rotten Crohn's disease!!).

So I gave in and went to the doctor.  After being poked and prodded the man in charge couldn't say for sure if this was a 2nd or 3rd degree burn (I'm going with 3rd because I want the street cred).  

He said lucky me that the nerves were damaged so I couldn't feel it, likely they will heal fine and I may or may not have a crazy scar.  I'm hoping for yes (scars -- tattoos with better stories, you know).  He patted my head, gave me a tetanus shot and a prescription for antibiotic ointment and sent me on my way.  

(Also, he sided with Josh and said it was good we came in...traitor.)

I still can't feel the burned area, but the burn has hardened into a near plastic-like rectangle on both fingers which is REALLY uncomfortable as I try to move and do normal things.  

But, that's what you get when you're hangin' around the fire with your homies and Lil D (for DeMoux, of course) puts the heat on you and leaves you hurtin' but you ain't gonna squeal no matter how much they burn you.  

Or something like that.

Monday, February 6, 2017

The marvels of not-so modern medicine

Today my house smells like garlic (no, that isn't me bragging, it is just a statement of fact).

I've been cooking garlic because someone around here has the beginnings of an ear infection.

And (spoiler alert) that someone is me.

If the truth be told, I get a LOT of infections.  A big part of that is the result of the meds I'm on to keep my Crohn's disease in check (nasty freeloader, always hanging around).  These drugs (I love them) keep my immune system suppressed which is good for controlling Crohn's but not so good for fighting off other illnesses.

And so I get a lot of infections, the bulk of them being ear infections, sinus infections, and I scoop up my fair share of strep throat (I really HATE that one).

I really despise having to head to the doctor for every little infection because they come up REALLY often and doctors are expensive, so since Crohn's and I became frenemies six years ago I've learned a few tricks to take care of some of these things.  While I still don't have a solid answer for managing sinus infections and strep, I DO have a good, reliable helper when it comes to fighting off ear infections.

Enter the garlic .
(Thinking out loud, maybe Crohn's Disease and vampires have a distant relation of some kind?)

Now, I am not a medical professional, so I'm not prescribing this treatment for anyone out there, but I have been grateful for this tried and true remedy (which humans have used for a long long time so I'm really just piggy-backing off the smarts of Neanderthals and such) so I'm going to share.  Garlic has helped me wipe out dozens of ear infections and I'm really glad of that.

Should you decide to give this simple trick, here's how I do it.

Add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil and a heaping spoon of garlic to a saute pan.  Over a medium heat stir the concoction CONSTANTLY.  The garlic will slowly get darker and darker while it cooks.

Keep going until the garlic becomes a nearly black, sticky mass (you can't miss it when you get there).  Then filter the tonic through something (like cheesecloth, or a handy dandy paper towel) to separate the garlic hunks from the liquid gold.

Finally, I suck the amber fluid into a syringe and use that to get the goop into my ear to fight the infection.  A few drips three or four times a day for a few days usually clears it up (for me, at least).  

I've done this for years and have conquered many many infections this way, but I make no guarantee that it will work for you.  However, it has been a lovely medieval bit of magic for me.  

Hopefully you do not have an affinity for picking up ear infections, but if you have the talent like I do (seriously, I. Am. Good.) maybe this will be a help.

Plus, you get to smell like garlic for days, and who doesn't love that.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...