I am not exactly a feminist, let me just get that out of the way
from the very beginning.
That said, I am actually pretty proud of
my gender and the life I have because I am a woman.
I love being female. It is a
gigantic part of who I am as a person and that one, simple genetic fact greatly
affects my daily choices and views. I love that this lady label of mine
gives me the opportunity to be a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend in a way
that is different than the roles I see my husband fill. His position as
father, brother, son, and husband are not more or less important than my roles,
but they aren't the same as my roles either.
Being different does not make either one
of us lesser or greater (just like five pounds of grapes and five pounds of apples carry equal weight even though they are not the same). We are each confident and assertive about our particular
positions in our relationship and life. We function as partners, neither
one more important than the other, but also neither one exactly the same as the
other. We come together to make choices and listen to each other
when problems in our family arise. To be honest, I am the more vocal and
dominant partner when it comes to our family life. At home, for the most part, I run the show.
Josh is great to support me in that, but he thinks for himself (which
is sometimes annoying when it gets in the way of what I think). He is willing to put his foot forward when he
thinks things are headed in the wrong direction or that there is a better way
to handle something. That’s when we put
our heads together and work out a plan we can both be comfortable with. Sometimes it takes some arguing to get to
that point. Sometimes we get there
without opinion spikes and disagreements.
Either way, we don’t more forward until we both clearly see the vision of what
we believe will be best for our family.
As you know, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints. I have been watching
closely as my church has been pulled into the media arena of late and labeled
as sexist and discriminatory. Some women
feel that because they are not able to personally hold the priesthood (the
power of God on Earth) they are being left out and set aside. To some degree, I understand how those who
aren’t a part of this church can buy into that.
It might seem chauvinistic and unfair.
However, for those who have lived this religion and been neck deep
in the doctrines and truths surrounding it, it is harder for me to understand
how they, even as women, can feel so slighted and unimportant.
It is through the powers of the priesthood that ALL things are
done in this church. When anyone – man or
woman – is asked to serve, hands are laid on their head by one holding
priesthood authority and they are given the rights and powers to act, to teach,
to lead within that sphere.
I have access to the priesthood just as much as my husband does
even though he holds it and I do not. He
can no more lay his hands on his own head to bless or guide or discern things for
himself than I can. The priesthood is a
powerful piece of God’s plan for us on Earth and this sacred power is equally
available to every member of God’s family whether they are male or female.
Over the years, I have had many chances to serve in positions in
this church. I have held leadership
roles from time to time and have ALWAYS been accepted and listened to by my
priesthood leaders. I have been part of
the decision making counsels within my ward and have ALWAYS felt like my
thoughts and feelings and inspiration and ideas were taken seriously. In fact, on many occasions, I believe my
insights were earnestly sought after because I am female. Those in leadership roles WANTED my view so
that they could more fully understand the big picture and know which direction we, as a ward, should move. As a sweet man
said to me recently, “Priesthood holders may be the head, but the women are the
neck. We desperately need both.”
I was a valuable part of those counsels and was treated with
reverence and respect as I functioned within them.
My husband has also had the chance to serve in leadership roles
within our church. I cannot tell you how many times over the
years he has been faced with a concern or problem and has come to me -- as his
wife -- for suggestions and guidance. Even now, as the bishop, he looks for my insight with issues our ward is facing. He VALUES
the fact that I have a different view than he does. He has often used my perceptions to broaden
his perspective and help him get a better handle on situations. I did the same with him when I was the one in a leadership role. His insights were a great blessing to me as well.
My thoughts and feelings are not discounted or ignored simply because
of my gender. I am invited and
encouraged to function in priesthood power even though I am not male.
Now, I am not implying that no priesthood holder has ever
overlooked or ignored the views of women around him. In fact, I am absolutely certain that that
has happened. I am certain that that has
happened in almost every arena in the world at one time or another. It is inappropriate wherever and whenever it
happens. Discriminating against an
essential and insightful gender is simply wrong. No one is of lesser value or worth because
they were born male or female. Both
sexes are of immense, eternal importance.
But they are not identical and we shouldn’t expect them to be.
Women are not called on to hold the priesthood, but they have
complete access to its power. They are
not left out any more than men are because men do not have the chance to be
mothers and relief society presidents and young women leaders and primary
presidency members. We each have
DIFFERENT roles, but each role is vital.
Within our church, God has authorized worthy men to be the bearers
of the priesthood. They are given
the charge to act within that sphere to bless the lives of God’s children. The priesthood they hold can only be used to
bless the lives of others – both men and women – not to elevate or magnify
themselves.
Men cannot choose to bestow the priesthood on women because it is
not their priesthood to give. It is God’s. He has given the duty of stewardship to His
sons. That is their role.
But He has not forgotten his daughters. He has given them the stewardship to nurture
and guide and create and correct within their world. They are of deepest value to Him. Their role is not of less importance, it is
just different.
I am a woman. I am proud of
that. I am also a member of The Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I
am proud of that too. Those two facts
are not at odds for me. They are each
crucially important in my soul. They are
each a fundamental part of who I am.
On Sunday our family attended a missionary devotional for our area. It was pretty great. There was lots of singing and testimonies and some videos and it was just a really nice evening. As we were leaving there was a table of pamphlets and handouts in the foyer. 
