A couple of weeks ago we had the chance to have family pictures taken with my side of the family. It is always an adventure (read that: struggle) to get everyone ready and headed in the same direction. In this case, my mom had chosen some coordinating colors for everyone to wear, so I'd rummaged through my kiddos closets to find appropriate outfits.
I'd set the chosen clothes out for everyone to see the night before and warned them we'd be wearing these clothes the next day and no one seemed to care much about them....until it came time to put them on the next morning. Then -- no kidding -- EVERY SINGLE CHILD let me know that he or she did not want to wear the chosen threads and tried to offer me other options -- many of which were not in the appropriate colors or were styles that didn't match the family.
Eventually, we just packed every grumpy person into the car wearing varying levels of the pre-selected outfits, with one daughter who was so upset at the imposed clothing choice that she wouldn't even allow her hair to be styled so she looked a bit bedraggled (some things we force, and some things we let people choose). Fine!!!!
In all the hullabaloo, we also forgot to bring the "Don't Mess With Texas" stuffed bull we had chosen to represent Bryce who was not with us for this picture (because he is in Orlando trying to teach people about Jesus).
This was our first official, incomplete family picture. I know that as the years go by we will have many more family photos which will be missing a member as schedules conflict, more missions are served, families move, and other concerns come up -- but this was our first.
It has been hard for me to really fall in love with these images because they are missing a person who means so much to me. However, I sincerely think it is important for me to live in these moments and to see the beauty of this chapter of our life (I'm pretty big about owning our circumstances and honestly feeling our feelings, just ask my kidlets). It isn't fun to be reminded that a person you love is far away, but that is the truth of it and there is beauty in that truth as well as sadness.
I am proud of Bryce for choosing to serve God. And that means that right now he isn't here with us for these family moments. It makes my heart squeeze a little bit, but it also makes me smile as I think of the ways he is growing and learning, the people he is meeting, the testimony he is building -- the things he is experiencing that I could not give to him. I know this is the right place for him to be.
Anyway, back to our story. We all tumbled into the car with sour faces but after an hour-long drive, angry feelings had tempered some and we arrived in the canyon for the family photo shoot. People were mostly cooperative (although, still no approval was given for hair styling). All in all, it was a good opportunity and I'm grateful for the physical reminders of where our family is that we can look back on with fondness, even if they are one person shy of our complete crew.