...and they all lived happily ever after...

...and they all lived happily ever after...

Friday, November 22, 2013

Of leaves and porn...

The other day I went out into the front yard to rake the leave before it rained and snowed.  We don't have a huge yard and we also don't have any really big trees (yet) but we still get a fair number of leaves that build up along our cement wall as they blow through the neighborhood.
 
As I was raking, it stuck out to me that no matter how hard I worked and how persistent I was, I never managed to get every single leaf out of the grass and into my pile.  I could scrape and scrape my yard rake along my verdant turf, but bits of broken leaves still matted themselves into our lawn.

 
Now, I am fairly realistic and I don't expect to get every single piece of tree waste when I am raking.  That isn't practical.  And that is where I started thinking about porn.
 
No, not in a nasty way.
 
But the issue of prevalent porn problems have been on my mind lately and while I continued to rake a few things occurred to me.
 
I'm sure you have seen the petition circling the internet lately about the "opt in" idea for online porn.  I am not here today to push you sign this or tell you it is worthless.  That is for you to research and decide on your own. 
 
I have read many opponents of this idea who say there are unresolvable issues with this plan.  I'm not going to disagree with them.  There are absolutely logistical and financial and political and a bunch of other 'als' that rear their heads in the body of such a thought.  There are glaring problems with this proposal.
 
However, does the fact that I cannot clean up every single leaf perfectly from my yard mean that I should just give up and not even bother trying at all?
 
No.
 
And that's where I think these people are right on track.
 
Agree or disagree with the specific solution they present, at least the proponents of this are doing something about the problem.  They are opening a dialogue to address a plague that mutilates families and individuals.  I am not saying they are right or wrong -- I am not really sure about this specific scheme one way or the other -- but I love that they are saying something.  I love that they aren't giving up just because a perfect solution is not readily available.  I love that they are fighting for a cause that needs more attention in this world. 
 
What I am here to say is that pornography is a sinister trap.  It is insipid and venomous and highly addictive.  It degrades souls and corrodes relationship.  Its destructive tentacles have a way of winding around its victims and clutching them relentlessly.  Its grip is nearly impossible to entirely escape.  It is ugly and rancid.
 
And it is readily available EVERYWHERE!
 
I would imagine that most people who read this blog know someone whose life has been afflicted by pornography addiction.  Over the years I have known several people who have fallen prey to the poison of porn.  I would bet that there are more people in my life that fight this addiction and I just don't know it because it is a personal and embarrassing battle.
 
Some of those I have known have been adults, some have been teenagers.  Their ages and social standings and religions and home lives are different, but the crushing arms of pornography constrict tightly around them all, sometimes nearly suffocating them. (This is one of my favorite articles about the dangers of online porn.)
 
Did they initially choose to indulge in this toxin?  Generally, yes. 
 
Like all addictions, it starts small.  But as it is invited into a persons life it takes stronger and stronger hold on them until they have trouble getting away from it at all.  It follows them everywhere they go whispering to them and seducing them to sink further and further into its filth. 
 
Do they now regret the unending pull that it has over them?  Almost universally, yes.
 
But getting away from it isn't so easy.  When the pollutant is stored inside your mind, how do you weed it out?  How do you pull images and scenes from your brain once they have been recorded there?  How do you function in a world where a few simple clicks can sate your yearning for something you know you shouldn't indulge in?
 
This is not just a problem for the individual.  This is not a victimless decision.  Families are torn apart by porn and its influence.  Porn has a deep and steady relationship with violent crime.  Its reaches go far beyond any one single mind.
 
And what about when our young ones are exposed to such smut before they are old enough to really know how to handle it?
 
I want to share a personal experience.  One of my sons was in the elementary school computer lab when he was in second grade.  He and the members of his class were instructed to type in the address or a particular website which had some educational games.  My little seven year old typed in the address, but misspelled a word and when he clicked enter several lewd images filled the screen.
 
He was shocked and embarrassed.  He tried to get off the site, but the more buttons he clicked the more images flooded the monitor.  And this was in school with filters upon filters where our kids are supposed to be safe from this stuff (I am not blaming the school here, what I am saying is that no matter how careful you choose to be you cannot completely let down your guard when evil is involved).
 
Finally he called over the teacher who turned the whole system off, rebooted and helped him access the correct site.
 
When he came home and told me what had happened, he was in tears.  He knew we didn't approve of those types of images and that he wasn't supposed to look at things like that.  But now what?  He had seen them.  Those pictures were locked inside him and he was having a hard time NOT thinking of them.   And he was in second grade.  An accidental key click could have polluted my little boy in a way I could not repair.  It took us a lot of time and effort to work through that one.
 
We had a similar experience when we went to Vegas on a family trip and ventured onto the strip to watch the Belagio fountains.  Another son was haunted by the "trading card" images that littered the sidewalk and were in full view of our little ones despite our best efforts to avoid them.
 
Not every leaf that I have to clean up comes invited into my yard.  Often they wind their way onto my grass from some far off place with no encouragement on my part.  It is the same with porn.  Our children WILL be exposed to it to some degree even if we don't invite it into our homes.
 
As parents, it is our responsibility to do everything in our power to protect and teach our children.  We MUST be open with them about the dangers of pornography, about its addictive nature and seductive pull.  We must also be open with them about the fact that they will be drawn to it to some degree or another because sexual desire is natural and normal and even -- lets admit it -- good when used appropriately. 
 
But erotic fantasies posted on websites are NOT an appropriate use.  They also aren't realistic and they aren't natural or normal.  They lie.  They set up false ideas and expectations (among other things). 
 
And by sitting around and doing nothing the problem is growing and spreading and infecting more and more people day by day, moment by moment. 
 
If I ignore the leaves moldering in my yard they don't magically go away on their own, they get more and more disgusting.  They get wet and goopy, they grow mold and slime each other together and when I finally address them in the spring they have become a much more grotesque chore than they were before.  Ignoring filth only allows it to mature and spread.
 
Famed Irish orator Edmund Burke said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."  I believe that is true.
 
And that is why I feel like it is intensely important that we fight this filth.  We must step forward and do something or evil will continue to grow and will subject more and more victims to its insistent and foul appeal.
 
I don't know exactly the steps that should be taken.  I don't know all that should be done.  I'm new to this venue. 
 
I do know that whatever we do, it has to start at home.  We have to teach virtue and strength and the power of faith. 
 
We have to protect our families.  We have to keep their little eyes from being the accidental conduit for allowing pornographic grime to seep into their young brains to be stored for further review.
 
And as they get older we need to take on the weighty responsibility to do everything in our power to protect them from images and acts that will poison and ensnare them.
 
But it can't end there.
 
We can't sit by quietly hoping that if we protect them at home then everything will be ok.  There is a whole world out there and if voices for good do not call for action then voices for evil will surely allow drivel to ooze into every available corner.
 
Say something.
 
Find a way to support this fight.
 
There is something you can do, if only that you open your mouth and voice your opinion, that is a start. 
 
And maybe together we can begin a cure for this plague running rampant in our nation.  Not that every piece will be swept away, that is not how it works.  That isn't realistic.  But little by little if we will each do something we can see the world change for good.
 
 
 


2 comments:

jess said...

Very beautifully written. Sometimes it's overwhelming thinking about sending my kids out into the world. Thanks for such a great example.

Haiku Amy said...

Thank you for your thoughts. I know I need to step up my parenting especially in this regard.

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