Thursday, September 8, 2011
A Child's Prayer
Since my actual Crohn's diagnosis, we have had a couple of very candid discussions with our children about what is wrong with their mother and how we will handle things as a family. We don't tend to pull punches when we talk to our children about things; we try not to be grossly graphic, but we tell them the truth and try to help them honestly understand whatever it is. We have had very blunt discussions about sex, pregnancy, rhett syndrome, alcoholism, gestational diabetes (Bryce was terrified he was going to catch that one from me for a while...if he ends up with gestational diabetes the diabetes part will be the least of our worries) and now Crohn's disease.
The point is, our kids pretty well know what is going on.
Well, several of my children have very tender hearts although some of them bottle it up more than others. Bryce and Gavin have taken our Crohn's conversations particularly seriously and they are particularly open with their feelings. When it is their turn for family or dinner prayer they have each sincerely and tenderly petitioned our Father in Heaven to make my pain go away and then, quietly, almost apologetically, they have asked that if it is ok with Him maybe God could make the Crohn's disease just disappear all the way.
These are the moments that warm a mother's heart (and make her eyes leak a little bit). What a humbling and at the same time strengthening experience to listen quietly as your children faithfully ask their Heavenly Father, your Father in Heaven, to heal you.
Now, we have told them that having the disease vanish is unlikely. We've explained that those choices are up to Heavenly Father and they understand that, but who am I to tell them what to pray for? Who am I to squash their budding faith and tell them that miracles like that are impossible? I do not feel like complete healing is in my future. I feel like this is just a weight I will carry in life just like someone else's poor eyesight, low back pain, arthritis or high cholesterol. But as long as my little ones trust God and His path for our lives I will not tell them to stop praying for what matters deeply to them. Maybe they just have more faith than I do.
Thank God for the things we learn from our children. What a blessing.